SINGING WAY OFF-KEY

CABINETS CAN MORPH, LAPTOPS CAN SHRINK, MONITORS CAN STAND LOPSIDED, BUT PLEASE PEOPLE, LEAVE THE KEYBOARDS ALONE!

JAMSHED AVARI, Assistant Editor – Technical

SINGING WAY OFF-KEY

Designer touches are popping up everywhere in the PC world, but manufacturers have in many cases lost all sense of subtlety. Some also compromise a device’s function in order to make it look different. One particular thing that annoys me is how companies regularly find new ways to deform their keyboards. I’m not even talking about springs versus membranes here; I just want the basic layout to be respected! I am an unapologetic power user; a keyboard junkie with shortcuts or hotkeys for nearly everything, and I need to be able to type rapid fire with the full confidence that what I want to say is what’s ending up in my documents.

First of all, can everyone please stop messing with the paging block? That’s the set with [Ins], [Del], [Home], [End], [Pg Up] and [Pg Down]. Some might not use them very much, but they’re invaluable to me. Long documents, page layouts, visual designs and even web pages fly past with [Ctrl] and [Shift] combos. I need to precisely select individual words and paragraphs all the time so I’d like them where they should be, scattered about because some industrial designer decided they’re not so important. Most laptops today have turned these into a vertical strip, but none are consistent on which keys should be where. Apple, blazing new design trails, has dispensed with them altogether in favor of unmarked [Fn] key combinations. Today only Lenovo ThinkPads and Dell Latitudes respect the layout, meaning that business consumers can have their functionality but ordinary users will be stuck with whatever works design-wise. And while we’re at it, Dell, please stop leaving the [Pause|Break] key off your Inspirons and Studios. Yes, I've noticed.

I AM AN UNAPOLOGETIC POWER USER; A KEYBOARD JUNKIE WITH SHORTCUTS FOR EVERYTHING

Let’s also decide on one place for the [Fn] key. Laptop makers please note: this should NOT be in the corner rightfully occupied by the left [Ctrl] key. Next to that is fine. Yes, Lenovo, your Thinkpads earn critical acclaim all the time, but this is one big mistake. I shouldn’t have to relearn shortcuts because I use both a laptop and a desktop.

Equally important is the row of [F] keys on top. They’re supposed to be in clusters for a reason: it’s easier to grope for them. But no, they’re mercilessly split, grouped, and even spaced out individually. I need to just flick out to pull down mail, refresh web pages, open palettes and toolbars, close tabs… Stop making me physically look for them each time! And stop giving them multimedia functions by default and forcing [Fn] combos to make them do what they’re really supposed to. Put in extra shortcut keys around the edges, but don't cross this line.

Next up, Apple, you’re really in a league of your own by killing the numeric keypad on your desktops altogether. It’s just silly. No purpose has been served at all.

I used to assume that at least the QWERTY block was safe, but oh no, international variations aside I now have to deal with the arrow cluster pushing the lower right corner inwards. That means there’s often no [Win] or [Menu] key on the right. And the next netbook I see with the left [Shift] beyond an arrow key is going straight out the nearest window.

Seriously though, the keyboard is one thing that should be non negotiable.